All i needed was one hour of sleep. Once she gets in the car she will be snoring but all day i have been begging her to sleep for an hour. A reason to hate my ex. He could be here for an hour. I am exhausted.
I was never a baby person. Really, I don’t care for babies, I don’t like playing with kids, hear them or be near them. I don’t like strollers in the market, babies crying, kids yelling, mothers scolding their children for screaming “I want ice cream”. I never wanted to have children, that said life has a life of its own. I have a baby, I try to play with her, I hear her crying all the time, I’m near her all the time, I got myself a stroller and I’m waiting for her, God willing, to grow up and start screaming “I want that Barbie doll”.
Of course I don’t regret her coming to my life. She is a mirracle. But what changed? I grew up, got married and had a baby. Evertything everyone was expecting from me. Now, everyone expects me to be the super woman, the good housewife, the faultless mother, the goregous spouse, the woman who brings home part of the bacon. We are all expected to be perfect. That’s what’s changed, I started following the crowd.
I had ambitions, desires that I didn’t fullfil, now they feel more like dreams to me that will never come true. One thing I hope for is giving my child the uppertunity to fulfil her passions.